Some people remodel houses for fun. Some people remodel houses to make money. Some people remodel because of a natural disaster. We remodel because our dog makes us.
A few years ago we had to replace our living room curtain rod, curtains, and removed blinds because our big boy thought he saw an intruder in our yard. He also gnawed on the doorknob and tore out a window screen
Our next project, thanks to Haas, is changing the trim around our back door. After all, if you can’t turn the doorknob with your teeth to get out, the next logical step is just to try and rip the whole door out of the wall, right?
Open this door, too, Mom. I need tools for the renovations.
He’s a good boy, truly. Haas just really had to go outside. It’s too bad the kid doing virtual schooling didn’t notice Haas wanting to go out. Must be some really good headphones.
Any recommendations for a new door with a pet flap big enough for a mini horse?
There is so much sorrow in the world. Sometimes it is hard to digest. I want to know why people can’t just be nice. Kindness isn’t the answer for everything, but wouldn’t it go a long way in getting rid of a lot of the questions?
I want to hold up dogs as an example here. I want to say that dogs being kind to their pack and humans is the answer to all things. I want to say it… but it’s not, so I can’t. Sometimes dogs are buttheads, too. Sometimes they are accidental buttheads. Sometimes they are deliberate buttheads. Like people!
Example A: When Drake is released from his crate in the morning, he practices something that looks like a rodeo bronco performing parkour. It’s like zoomies on speed. He runs jumps, and has a good time. His big brother sees this as time to play and slams a prodigious paw down on Drake’s head or whatever body part is in reach. Then, there’s a dog crying and Mom fussing and a confused Haas. He really thought this was how playtime worked. Haas was an accidental butthead.
Example B: The dog crates have been in the same place for pretty much all of the dogs’ time with us. If you’re new to us, that’s years. During the day, the boys come and go as they please, using their crates/rooms for when they want to be alone. It’s their spot and even the human children know to leave the boys alone when they put themselves to bed. Here is where deliberate buttheadedness comes in. To torment Percy, Drake will camp out in Percy’s room. Percy, who is all about not being confrontational (takes after Mom, you know), will sit outside his crate and stare mournfully. He does not take the 3 steps to just use Drake’s equally large crate. Drake doesn’t sleep in Percy’s crate. Drake just takes it because he can. He is a deliberate butthead.
Mom, Drake stole my bed again.
Do I have a point here? Kinda. Even when the boys are being buttheads of either the deliberate or accidental variety, I still love them. Should we still love the human versions of these two? I don’t know, honestly. I want to say yes. Love them, anyway. I also want to say buy a spiked collar for the accidental buttheads and let the flatulence fly when someone steals your bed.
Ultimately, perhaps I should stop trying to find life lessons in creatures who are shocked it hurts when they bite their own tails. If you’ve had a rough day, week, month, year, I hope you find a reason to smile today. I’m sorry we all have our days. The boys and I think you are paw-some and we are glad you are in the world.
The Terrible Two on Four Feet 