Things I have learned from my dogs

I love lists. That is actually an understatement. I love them as much as my dogs. Lists rule my life. If there is a “listicle,” I will read it. It doesn’t matter if I know anything about the subject matter or not, I will probably read that list. If it can be put into a list, I am on it faster than Percy can gobble an unattended cake.

On any given day, I have four different lists on my work desk. They are short term lists, long term lists, things accomplished, and grocery lists that will never make it to the store. Some of my lists have sub-lists.

I like those “Things You Can Learn from a Dog” or “Everything I need to know, I learned in kindergarten” type lists. They are almost always happy and good for a laugh or smile. The things I learn are seldom that fun, though.  They often earn a sigh and occasional profanity.

Here’s what I have learned from my dogs (and demon cat). Your results may vary.

1. Flower pots can be shattered and then double as chewing gum when mom won’t let you have the real thing. (No backyard container garden for me this year.)
2. There’s always room for treats and eating slippers. (Apparently, the more expensive the slipper, the better it tastes.)
3. Flossing is great, especially when you use an iPhone charging cord.
4. Someone will fall for sad, puppy-dog eyes. You just have to find the person who wasn’t in the room when you got in trouble.
5. The more you yowl and stir up the dogs, the faster someone will scoop out cat food.
6. You are never too heavy, or have too bony of a butt, to be a lapdog.
7. 100 pounds can sit on the back of my sofa without tipping it over. 120 pounds is too much.
8. A closed dog mouth is a suspicious dog mouth.
9. Anti-gas dog treats exist and are a nose-saver. I recommend them for daily use.
10. (My personal favorite) Dogs will love you and still want to snuggle when you come home sick from work on a Monday and look like a zombie.