22 July 2019
Dear Haas,
We need to talk. There is this thing called “personal space” that you need to accept. I know this is hard for you because you can’t conceive the idea that someone doesn’t adore you or want you up in their bubble. What you did today just put your behavior over the edge. You absolutely cannot sit on a stranger’s lap when you are out in public. It’s just not done.
I know the gentleman was kind enough not to say anything but, still. That’s not okay. You have gotten too heavy and your hygiene lately has been sub par. No one wants a hairy, stinky giant they don’t know plopping his big bony rear down with no warning. All he wanted to do was wait patiently for the vet with his shih tzu. The next person may be frightened and then won’t want to be your friend.
Look. Dad and I love you. The kids love you. We’ll take your hugs and snuggles, but please stop sitting on strangers’ laps. Also, stay out of the trash. It’s just gross, dude. The groomer isn’t going to keep being so happy to see you.
I know you are a good boy and I love you. I just want you to give people their space and maybe don’t take up so much of a small waiting room. Also, leave the hot spot on your neck alone so I can take a week off from paying the vet. We’ll talk about you removing your sutures on your own another time and why that’s no good.
Love,
Mom
Dear Mom,
If he didn’t like it, the man could have scooted over. Also, if you kept treats out on the table so I could have a late night snack, I would stay out of the trash. The next step is to call grandma and grandpa. Now, turn off the light, I’m trying to take a snooze.
Love taking up the whole bed,
Haas.
The Terrible Two on Four Feet 
Oh my dog…I actually snorted at just the image of him climbing on a stranger’s lap. My last OES did that to a lady on a park bench outside a little shop. I was horrified, she laughed and Puck…well Puck got her way. Again. Thanks for reminding me of a goofball dog I adored.
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Half of the bench was open and he just backed up and put his butt on the man’s lap. It made everyone else who waited laugh. While I was embarrassed, it’s a memory that will always make me smile. Sounds like Puck lived up to her name. 🙂
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